I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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