Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
