Banned from zoo.
Again?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
