Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
