I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
