Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize