I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
