My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
