please come you make the beer taste better
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
