She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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