Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
