There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
