And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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