omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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