he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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