Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize