is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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