We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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