***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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