tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
