What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
