Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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