we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
