I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
