Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
