Are we in a gay sports bar?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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