honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
