I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
