i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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