dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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