Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
