I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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