why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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