Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
