Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
you never un-have a 4some
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
