So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
