is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
