i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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