did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
