just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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