Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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