I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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