I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
