I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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