he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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