that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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