yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
