you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
