grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
