you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
