she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
