I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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