He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize