His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
