honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
