belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
